6 Reasons Why I Want To Punch Summer In The Face

It’s the middle of summer here in Sweden, and I must say I am not a fan.

No, not Sweden. It’s a beautiful country. I’m talking about Summer.

And before you react, yes, I do have a soul and no, I am not a crazy, grumpy hermit. I just think that the most anticipated season of the year is also easily its most overrated.

1. Sweaty McSweatyPants

Sweating releases endorphins, which explains why you feel a bit giddy after an exercise. That’s great and all, but if you’re sweltering through your work clothes, it releases a few armpit stains, an oily face – and a whole lot of embarrassment.

2. Obligatory Family Pool Parties

It’s something that all non-swimmers dread: the annual family pool party. Get ready to feel left out as your cousins go diving with ease, while your aunt and uncles condescendingly question (complete with raised eyebrows) your hesitation to take a dip. Is nearly drowning at an early age considered a valid excuse?

Doing my best impression of Michael Phelps

3. The Festival of Body Odor

They say nothing’s worse than having your heart broken. I would argue that being trapped in a non-air conditioned bus, amidst a 30 °C weather, surrounded by a lot of sweaty passengers, pretty much takes the cake.

Mix it altogether and you’ll have a whole lot of err… “extraordinary” aromas.

Is that garlic? Fish? Diversity?

But seriously guys, for the love of everything that is holy and pure, take a shower at least once a day. While it might not be good for your skin, I’m pretty sure the people around you will thank you for not giving their noses a heart attack.

4.  Television is Practically Dead

Aside from Game of Thrones, almost every show worth watching is on a hiatus. Even basketball season ends on summer and won’t be seen again until October. Boo!

Although Game of Thrones is a solid consolation prize.

5. Not The Bees!

Bees are the pint sized versions of your short-tempered old neighbor; always constantly trying to push you out of his property, only this time you’re being prodded with a painful stinger, instead of a walking stick.

 disney vintage bee 1940s donald duck GIF

6. The Intense Sunlight

It continues to baffle me how Swedes and other Europeans can, not only withstand, but seemingly enjoy getting cooked under the sun all day. I’m not just imagining the searing, burning sensation right?

But then again, I am Asian. Leave us out in the open for too long, and we’ll go from Jackie Chan to Michael Jordan.

That reference got weird real quick.

Follow The Reader’s Buffet for unpopular opinions, sun-burned Asians and more.


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